A Season of Release

I was going through an extremely hard time at a point in my life. It seemed like everything was happening all around the same time. Great things were happening, but I felt I was failing in certain areas. The only thing I could compare it to was feeling like I was falling into a pit and being unable to catch myself or get out.

I noticed I was going through a season of release. God was releasing things and people that didn’t belong. Close friendships were released and intimate partners — anyone and anything that did not serve me.

Although those things felt good to me, they were not good for me. I went through crying spells, anxiety, and grieved the loss of 15-year-old friendships. I realized those things had to be removed because they weren’t meant to go where I was going. I had to understand it is ok to feel your emotions and work through them.

Most importantly, I was going through vigorous therapy sessions. I was learning about me, and it didn’t feel good. It’s easy to wake up everyday, but what’s not easy is working on yourself to do the right thing everyday. I had to learn who I really was and understand the traumas I encountered in life and how it made me feel. I came to the understanding that I have settled for certain things and people and made mistakes as a mom. Therapy makes you face it!

Often times, we think time will allow us to heal. No! We have to do the work, and it’s hard! You will cry, feel bad, and feel happy at times. You’ll be on a roller coaster. You will be forced to face things you don’t want to face.

So, in this season of release, which I am still in, I’m working to release anxiety, friendships, relationships, envy, setting boundaries, and more. It doesn’t always feel good, but the changes I made this far has been worth the work!